Late Night USA Epstein scandal: "There's a difference between a 15-year-old and a 5-year-old"

Anyone who thinks they have already learned everything unsavory about the Epstein scandal may not yet be aware of the very latest revelations, to which Donald Trump's own party has also contributed. Comedian Josh Johnson gleefully puts his finger in the wound on the "Daily Show".

When the Democrats released three emails in which Jeffrey Epstein wrote about "his best friend" Donald Trump, political Washington exploded, Josh Johnson introduces the "Daily Show".

But the president has his party behind him. "And you know these world-class strategists have a plan to get this story off the front page," says the 35-year-old. A "Newsmax" clip follows, stating that the Republicans have also released material: 20,000 documents related to Epstein.

"Oh, no," Johnson screeches. "That's the problem when people are really behind you. They were basically like, 'He's got nothing to hide, here's 20,000 more emails.' Do you have no idea how to hide something? It's like hiding the fact that you peed on yourself by pissing on yourself."

Epstein wants to have "given" Trump his girlfriend

Johnson gets going: "Trump's people spent a year saying there were no Epstein files. Now there are 20,000 pages, and that's not even the Epstein files." It's not just about unlawful things: "A lot of it was just weird brother-***** about women they were with."

The CNN clip from 1:29 minute onwards states that Epstein wrote that he had photos of "Donald [Trump] and girls in bikinis in my kitchen". The 2015 pedophile also states that he was with a 20-year-old girl in 1993, whom he "gave to Donald after two years".

This is strong stuff. Josh Johnson says: "Man, I'm glad Hillary [Clinton] killed that guy" - probably setting off alarm bells among conspiracy theorists. But he only says this because there is no worse way to break up with someone than to set them up with Trump.

Epstein goes from friend to foe

"If someone were to break up with me and say: 'I don't deserve you. But you know who does?' And Donald Trump walks in? I'd say, 'Damn, I didn't know you hated me?" Rumor has it that the woman in question is the heiress of a Norwegian cosmetics empire, named Celina Midelfart.

"She has denied that she was with either of them, which I understand," says Johnson. "But more importantly, how can you be called Celina Midelfart?"

The newly published documents would not only testify to the friendship between Epstein and Trump. They are also evidence of the enmity that grew out of it. "Donald is f****** crazy, I told you so," writes the pedophile about the New Yorker, who is "borderline crazy" and whom Epstein attests to having an "early form of dementia".

A lose-lose situation for Trump

Elsewhere, a woman writes: "Trump is so disgusting." Epstein replies: "Even worse in real life and up close." "Damn," Johnson marvels. "A pedophile said that about you? That's wild! That's like the devil coming out and saying, 'Hey guys, [Sean Combs aka] Diddy is really gross."

Late Night USA - Understanding America

blue News

50 states, 330 million people and even more opinions: How are you supposed to "understand America"? If you want to keep an overview without running aground, you need a beacon. The late-night stars offer one of the best navigational aids: They are the perfect pilots, relentlessly naming the shoals of the country and its people, and serve our author Philipp Dahm as a comic compass for the state of the American soul.

Being friends with a paedophile puts you in a situation where you can only lose, the presenter knows. "If they say, 'That guy is disgusting and I'm a pedophile,' that's bad. But if, on the other hand, they say, 'Yes, I know him and he's a pretty good guy to hang out with', that's also terrible."

You have to choose your friends carefully: If you do something embarrassing in front of a friend, it creates a memory. If the friend becomes an enemy. However, Johnson warns that when a friend becomes an enemy, the memory becomes ammunition. This is illustrated in the "ABC News" clip from 4:58 minutes onwards.

The nose, the glass and a conclusion

According to an Epstein email from 2015, Trump allegedly ran into a pane of glass and bumped his nose because "young women swimming in the pool" had distracted him.

"It can't be that the guy is [comically] horny," Johnson says. "There's the normal pervert, and there's the cool-aid-man-level pervert. 'Hey Donald, you want to see some girls in the pool?" 'Oh, yeah!"

In case you don't know the breakthrough Cool Aid Man, voilà:

He wasn't even suggesting that Trump had a micropenis. "But it's funny that he's been teased, and the first thing his nose hits is the glass."

So the Republicans would not have done the president any favors with their publications. But it was the right-wing TV commentators who failed.

"This whole Epstein thing is a bit of a sham"

In the summary from 6:10 minutes onwards, words such as "ridiculous", "distraction", "journalistic misconduct" and "drama" are used. It is even recognized: "This whole Epstein thing, it's a bit fake." That's probably not enough to boil the whole thing down: How is Megyn Kelly making light of the affair?

This can be seen a 6:54 minute in: "As for Epstein, he wasn't into 8-year-olds, he liked the very young teenage types," the lawyer says on her talk show. And: "You know, there's a difference between a 15-year-old and a 5-year-old."

"How the hell was Megyn Kelly ever a lawyer?" asks Johnson. "Ma'am, everyone knows there's a big difference between a 15-year-old and a 5-year-old. But everyone also knows there's never a good reason to talk about that difference."