Late Night USA Trump's Greenland "deal" and his pseudo-talk with Macron, which is deeply revealing

"Late night with Seth Meyers" sheds light on Donald Trump's Greenland debacle in Davos, in which the US president solves a problem he created himself. A fat dog is his tale of a conversation with Emmanuel Macron, which shows what makes the 79-year-old tick.

"Remember that whole Epstein thing?" Seth Meyers begins his segment "A Closer Look" on his "Late Night" show. "You know: the discovery of secret documents detailing the various crimes of the world's most notorious sex trafficker?" Ring any bells?

Meyers elaborates: "You know: the files that people across the political spectrum are demanding be released - and that the government has to disclose by law. Well, Donald Trump has found something that people hate even more than his handling of those files: his effort to take over Greenland."

This is proven in the following clip by CNN statistician Harry Enten: The so-called net approval rating is at -38 percent when it comes to Epstein. But in the polls with regard to Greenland, it is even -40 percent, according to the polls.

From Epstein's island to Greenland

"Okay, I think I know what happened here: Trump thought people wanted to know more about Epstein's Island. So he's trying to distract them with a bigger island," jokes Meyers, imitating the president: "You're thinking too small! Go to the big ones, America! Take your pick: You can have Greenland, Fiji, Madagascar..."

The late night host is in his element: "A lot of bad things happen in Madagascar. Lots of shady things! When King Julien said, 'I like to move it, move it', he was talking about cocaine. A lot of people are saying that - more and more often."

So Trump has found something that is even more unpopular than his cover-up of the Epstein scandal, the 52-year-old summarizes. "But don't worry: he wants you to know that the fight he started - over something no one asked for - has now ended. Maybe it has. Or maybe not."

What kind of deal?

Time for the next news clip - from 1:59 minutes: It is reported that the "framework of an agreement" is being negotiated, but the White House is not giving away any details. There is "contradictory information" and perhaps "no deal" after all. Denmark is insisting on its sovereignty.

And Trump says that what he is doing is "really fantastic for the USA" and that they are getting "everything we wanted". "We?" Meyers asks excitedly. "We didn't want anything! We were perfectly happy to hear about Greenland every few years on [the specialty channel] 'National Geographic' and nowhere else."

"Literally nobody" talked about the island until Trump did. "And then we were all worried that he would launch a nuclear strike against Greenland - thanks to the name of Greenland's capital."

Meaningful "ahem"

What's that all about? Hear for yourself what it sounds like when they say "Nuuk, Greenland" in America: it really does sound like "nuke Greenland", i.e. "carry out a nuclear strike against Greenland".

Turning to the 79-year-old, Meyers adds: "Can you at least tell us something about the terms of the deal you made that nobody asked about?" A clip with this telling scene follows:

CNN reporter Kaitlan Collins asks if Greenland will belong to the U.S. like Trump wanted? "Uh.... It's a long-term deal," the New Yorker responds. "It's the ultimate long-term deal." "So, no," Meyers etches. "You should never start your answer with 'Ewww'."

Childish negotiation

The talk show host adds: "You've spent weeks insisting that the United States must have Greenland, and now you're celebrating a deal where we don't get Greenland at all." Trump negotiates with countries like he negotiates with his children, Meyers said:

Late Night USA - Understanding America

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"No more 'Paw Patrol', it's bedtime... Okay, all right, one more episode... Okay, all right, two more episodes... Okay, here's the deal: I'm going to bed, watch as much as you want. There's ice cream in the freezer. That's your dinner. Go crazy. Don't tell mom. Or do, I don't care!"

Meyers wonders: is there really no more information about this Greenland agreement? Or at least a time horizon? "[The deal] puts everybody in a good position - especially as it relates to security and commodities and everything else," Trump says in the following clip.

"It's forever"

And how long does it last, asks CNN's Ms. Collins? "Infinitely," is Trump's answer. "There's no time limit. It's forever. It's what they call an infinite deal. It's forever." Meyers smiles smugly: "That sounds pretty official. Is it really infinite? Uhh..."

The president fails to convince the father of three: "How can you not have any details about the deal you just made and that only you want? You sound like you're doing a review of a book you haven't read, but it's even worse because you wrote it."

Trump is not a "dealmaker," Meyers says. "He's just playing one on TV." As proof, the late-night host cites how Trump talks at the WEF about an alleged conversation with France's president in which Trump claims to have gotten Emmanuel Macron to raise the prices of medicines in his country to surpass those in the US.

Trump's "conversation" with Macron

Here is the "narration" in the video:

Here's the whole conversation written down as Trump told it:

Trump (taff): "Emmanuel, they're going to have to raise the price of this pill to $20 or $30. Think about it. That means it's a doubling. A doubling of prescription drugs. Could be a tripling, could be a quadrupling. It's not easy."

Macron (anxious): "No, no, no, Donald. I'm not going to do that."

Trump (tough as nails): "You will, 100 percent."

Macron (horrified): "No, no, no."

Trump (firmly): "Emmanuel, you will double or triple."

Macron (tearful): "No, no, no."

Trump (threatening): "The story goes like this, Emmanuel: The answer is, you'll do it. You're going to do it fast. And if you don't, I will put a 25 percent tariff on everything you sell in the U.S. and 100 percent on wine and champagne."

Macron (pleading): "No, no, Donald, I will do it. I will do it."

Trump went on to say that he had spoken to all the heads of state in this way. It took him an average of three minutes to convince people. "It took three minutes? Then why did it take you f****** five minutes to tell this story?" asks Meyers. "I've never heard of a conversation that was even less real than this one."

Concise comparison

And: "Take a second to consider what Trump is saying in this not at all made-up story: his way to make Americans feel better about drug prices is not to lower them for Americans, but to raise them for everyone else."

Time for one of the presenter's wonderful comparisons: "It's like your wife catches you having an affair and your response is, 'I'll straighten it out. I'll call my friend Tony so he can cheat on his wife too. See? Your marriage isn't sooo bad.'"

But what really happened? Meyers believes Trump backed down because there has been so much international uproar, stock indices have fallen and the Europeans have sent troops to Greenland on the one hand and threatened economic retaliation on the other.

"The silly episode is another example of what happens when Trump faces even minimal opposition: He backs down," Meyers said. "It's a lesson that opposition figures at home and abroad should remember when Trump makes a crazy demand."