Relatives of mentally ill people Do you know someone who is depressed - do you?

Relatives of mentally ill people are invisible helpers. People often forget that they need support too. An expert talks about her experiences as a helper and sufferer.

The figures are high: 90 percent of the adult population in Switzerland knows at least one person in their environment who has suffered from mental illness. 59% have already been in the role of a relative or have supported a sick person in their environment. And: 73% of relatives believe that they receive too little understanding from society.

In March 2024, the relatives' organization "Stand by You" published a representative survey: How do relatives of mentally ill people deal with their role? The research institute Sotomo surveyed over 2,000 people affected.

If you extrapolate this, 2.1 million people in Switzerland are relatives of someone with a mental illness.

Constant stress makes you ill

Lisa Bachofen is a relative: "The powerlessness is the worst thing," she tells blue News. "You watch someone you really like suffer and there's nothing you can do about it." Bachofen worked in psychiatry for a long time, is now President of the Association of Relatives of the Mentally Ill (VASK Bern) and has been nominated for a Swiss Diversity Award with her project.

"As a family member, you're constantly under pressure and never know what's going to happen next," says the pensioner. This constant stress is unhealthy and has consequences. Bachofen has often seen some people become patients themselves.

Better support for relatives

But how do you prevent relatives from becoming ill? Bachofen has a solution: support for relatives. People who are trained to accompany relatives, listen to them and give them tips. Either at home, over the phone or via Zoom.

Bachofen is confident. More and more professionals are realizing that relatives of mentally ill people also need support: "The support for relatives is very popular. I am sure that the healthcare system will move in this direction."

Generally speaking, she explains, communication is very important: "Talking openly about a situation can take some of the weight off your shoulders as the person affected." It also prevents stigmatization and breaks taboos.

Those affected must learn to set themselves apart

However, Bachofen also emphasizes that relatives need to learn to set themselves apart. This may sound paradoxical, but it contains an important insight: "Relatives cannot cure the mental illnesses in their environment. But they can learn to deal better with crisis situations."

She explains: "It is crucial that we as relatives do not take ourselves more seriously than we are. Instead, we want to work on how we deal with challenges ourselves." On the one hand, relatives protect themselves from being overwhelmed, and on the other, they become role models for those affected.

"Sick people observe exactly how we deal with crises and often imitate this behavior," says Bachofen. Composure and emotional control are key skills that relatives have to develop - often without professional support.

"Unfortunately, there is hardly any training on this. Those affected usually have to master these essential skills on their own," she criticizes. Support for relatives would also be ideal for this.

Despite all the challenges, Bachofen emphasizes: "Mistakes and crises are part of life. As relatives, we have to learn how to cope with them and let go of the feelings of guilt."