"Can't just enjoy it because it's my last match"

The suburban train to Monaco is packed with tennis fans on this Easter Monday. Everywhere you go, you hear the question: "Who do you want to see today?" And the answer is almost always: "Wawrinka." The fans were to be disappointed - or not. The 41-year-old loses 5:7, 5:7 to Sebastian Baez, the world number 64, in the first round of the Masters 1000 tournament in the Principality. But after trailing 1:5 in the second set, he puts up another great fight.

Defeat against Baez

Wawrinka misses the age record in Monte Carlo

Wawrinka himself had mixed feelings afterwards. After a defeat, you actually want to get off the court as quickly as possible. But Monte Carlo is a spectacle that the Frenchman will have to get used to this year, his last season as a professional tennis player.

No sense of pride

As at the Australian Open in January, images of his greatest successes flicker on the large video screen, in this case of course mainly of his 2014 triumph in Monte Carlo with his emotional victory over Roger Federer in the final. Tournament directors and companions pay homage to the three-time Grand Slam champion. This will also be the case in the coming months - and puts Wawrinka in a dilemma.

"If I want to play the whole year, I have to keep my attitude as a competitor," he explains. "I want to push myself to the end, to improve once again." He goes out on the pitch to win every game. "I can't just come and enjoy it because it might be my last match."

Does he at least feel happy or even proud when he receives these honors? "It's difficult to explain," says Wawrinka and ponders. "When you lose, it's not exactly the best feeling, you want to win as quickly as possible," says the Lausanne native. "Proud? I don't know." He was always honest on the pitch and always tried to share as much as possible with the fans. "I've never asked myself whether I'm proud or whether what I'm doing is brilliant. I want to communicate with the crowd and feel their love, support and energy."

The quite possible victory against Baez would also have been valuable for Wawrinka because it would have guaranteed him participation in the French Open. Now he will be number 103, 104 or 105 in the world next Monday, the ranking cut-off date. 104 players make it directly into the main draw via the world rankings, one or two may be missing through injury, but there are also those with a protected ranking. Although it can be assumed that the 2015 winner, who is extremely popular in France, would receive a wild card, he would of course like to make it on his own. He would not be able to compete in the qualifiers as he is competing at the Geneva Open in Geneva that week.

Farewell in Basel? Maybe

After a successful tour of Australia, the start to the clay season has not gone according to plan. At the Challenger tournament in Naples, Wawrinka narrowly failed in the first round. His next chance will come next week in Barcelona, where he will also benefit from an invitation. After that, he plans to compete in the qualifiers in Rome.

"I would like to play on grass again in the summer, preferably at Wimbledon of course," Wawrinka reveals the cornerstones of his further program. Then come Gstaad, Estoril, "hopefully the US Open and maybe the qualifier in Cincinnati or a Challenger before that", Lyon and then Basel. Will he play his last match as a professional at the Swiss Indoors? The Vaud native smiles and says: "It's at the end of the season, so there's certainly a good chance." But he doesn't want to make any promises. Last year, he played in Athens afterwards. "That was a great tournament, we'll see."

Lemon squeezed out

Stan Wawrinka's desire to play tennis remains undiminished, even at the age of 41 and as the oldest player on the ATP Tour. However, he does not regret his decision to retire at the end of the year. "I've reached a point where I've really squeezed every last drop out of the lemon," he explained before the tournament. "I'm looking forward to the end." It's not always easy to keep your body ready, he said.

But Wawrinka certainly doesn't want to complain. "I could talk about the negative sides of the sport for a long time now," he makes clear. "But being a professional tennis player is a huge stroke of luck, something I've always dreamed of. There are too many positives for me to talk about the difficulties." He also likes to stay on court a little longer after a defeat to make the fans happy. They are happy that they were able to admire perhaps the most beautiful backhand in tennis history once again.