"I cried myself to sleep" Post-olympic depression: what is it?

Olympians often experience a deep emotional and physical crisis after the Games, known as "post-Olympic depression".

For three weeks, the world looked at the athletes who pushed themselves to their limits and perhaps even beyond at the Olympic Games in Paris.

Men and women who evoked every conceivable emotion: Euphoria, joy, relief, shock, disappointment, despair, fear, anger and excitement.

It is these emotions that make up the Olympic Games, these moments of release after so many years of hard work. But as soon as the big show comes to an end and the athletes return home, all these emotions, these highs - especially for those who have won a medal - can turn into a so-called "post-Olympic depression".

This phenomenon is still relatively unexplored and has been highlighted by the athletes themselves. "It's kind of like anyone who's done something specific for a long time," Apolo Ohno, the most decorated US Winter Olympian, told CNN Sport.

"You were good, very good. And then, with a snap of your fingers, it's all over and you have to go and do something else."

What happens next? This is the question that athletes are often asked in press conferences after their competitions. What do you do when you have achieved your life's work? What happens when you go home after suddenly becoming famous? Where do you go when you're on the biggest show in the world? What do you do if you have to wait another four years to achieve your goals?

Nina Christen and Michael Phelps with symptoms

One athlete who knows these feelings well is Swiss shooter Nina Christen. After her Olympic victory in Tokyo, the 30-year-old fell into a post-Olympic depression. She spoke of a lack of energy, sleep disorders, mood swings and migraines.

Michael Phelps, the most successful Olympian of all time, also said after his retirement that he had fallen into a deep depression. In London, he said he no longer wanted to live after winning four gold and two silver medals. He spent days in his room without eating or sleeping.

Allison Schmitt: "Every high has its low"

Returning to a different, normal life after the Olympics and getting used to it again can be difficult. And as everyone returns to their own specific stresses, for some, a certain sadness can linger, take root and turn into depression, even or especially for athletes who have won gold medals.

"You're on a high and have no opportunity to switch off and relax. It's like you're on a high and suddenly you fall off this cliff," Allison Schmitt, an American swimmer who has won ten Olympic medals, four of them gold, told CNN Sport.

"We can be portrayed on TV as superhumans, and we can feel like superhumans when we win gold medal after gold medal, but at some point everyone peaks and has a low, and it's okay to have that low, but it's not okay to isolate yourself like I did."

I remember one of the coaches saying to me after I won Olympic gold in the 200m freestyle: "You're over the moon, do you want me to pinch you? And I said: 'No, let me live this moment. Let me savor this feeling."

"When you come back from the Olympics, you often hear that people wish they were in your shoes, that you were so lucky... that they would do anything for those gold medals," she adds, but warns, "I don't think they know what it took to get those medals, all the sacrifices, all the hard work, all the physical, mental and emotional strain."

When she realized that she was no longer the usual cheerful and optimistic person, she began to isolate herself. "I went to sleep, because at least when I sleep I can't feel these things. And so I cried myself to sleep."

After she thought she had hit rock bottom, the American decided to seek help in 2015, but it wasn't easy for her. "I didn't want it to seem like I was complaining, because at the end of the day I was very grateful for my success... but it was definitely a time when I didn't feel human, because a lot of people saw me as an object."

She wanted to end her life, just as her 17-year-old cousin committed suicide in May 2015. This is how the athlete began her therapeutic journey, which lasted for years. In between came four more Olympic medals, first in Rio, then in Tokyo.

Researchers in the field agree that it is important for athletes to talk more about negative feelings after major events like the Olympics in order to help themselves and others and remove the stigma of the phenomenon.

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